Hi blogers!
it seems like just a moment when we posted our current post.
well eniwei, I just want to share something.
uumm...although it appears like a share or curcol (curhat colongan) :)
it is already happened for a month when Im feeling that I cannot hold anything.
I cannot breath. I cannot do anything that I love. i cannot do my daily life as a student.
actually, until now i am still confuse and I cannot find what God wants from me.
if He wants me to do this, so why I cannot enjoy my life?
ok, you should be confused about "what am I doing"
I am a college student who start study at 7pm till 9pm monday to friday and continue to Saturday in the morning until noon. After first semester, I am going on work from 8am to 5pm.I got a position which push me to do it perfectly.
So you should be asking, "whats the problem,dude?"
thats the problem.
I got a very LOW POINT (IP) on first semester, instead my Moms asked me to increase my point.
So, to increase my point I HAVE to study hard. so how come I study hard if I am working?
Second, in the first semester, I look for a job. I don't taked all the job which offered to me. I choosed it. but my Mom wasn't know it. All she can do was JUDGE me that I cannot find anyjob. When I came back home at saturday, she just saying that I am wasting her money(!).
And after I got this job, I came back home on Saturday noon because my study finished at that time, all she can do was saying, "where are you?? are you playing or something? do you waste your money in shopping? so you think that you already earn money so that you can home late?"
Hei,you shud be know HOW MUCH I wants tell her :"stop pushing me and stop arguing me! this is what you want from me! I have been working and I have to get HIGHER POINT at college just like you asked!"
She still treat me just like when I am unemployed.
When I am home and I do my homework (because I bring it home), she asked me to massage her(!), although I already say that my paper shud be done by tomorrow.
She always thinking and she always treat me like a LITTLE GIRL! EVERYWHERE I go, my MOTHER and my FATHER always phone me, asked me "where are you? just home now! are you with a boy? dont embarasing this family!"
And what I can do? NOTHING...
I've been communicate about this thing to my mom, and she just say "you should be thankfull because me and your Dad still care in you"
this is not a care, mom. you prisoning me.
Other thing is coming from my job and my study. I got a moody boss although I know he is nice, but sometimes his moody bothering me at all.
Thats what made me scared of him.
After working, I have to study. I start my study with tired because my energy spent in office and train. in this semester, my lecture pushed us to do A LOT OF PAPPER, A LOT OF TASKS. Sometimes, I cannot follow their subject at class.
even my mid semester should be BAD because I cannot learn my subject well.
I am so deppresed. I thinking that everybody pushed me!
My parents push me. My job push me.
I cannot do anything. I am (already) tired.
Sometimes I just say, I DONT CARE.
if my boss angry, I just say I DONT CARE.
if my mom asked me, I just say I DONT CARE.
if i got bad point, I just say I DONT CARE.
I dont care with the world. Everything thats gonna happened, I DONT CARE.
Because I am tired.
I am tired became "good girl" in my parents eyes, my colleage, nor my friends.
I pray to God already. till now I am still asking. I am waiting for HIS PLAN for me.
What He wants from me. What He wants from my study and my job.
So thats when I and my KK met at PLANGI, I choosed BERSERAH as my subject. but I cannot deliver it well. so girls, this is actually what I want to share with you.
If you guys saw me just like a happy girl, you got a wrong impression. Because until now, I am still confused.
I am not a very nice girl. I am not an angel girl. I am not a perfect girl.
but God very kind with me. He gave anything that I never ASKED before.
All I do right now is FOLLOW His plan. Untill when? I dunno.
Until I cannot hold anything.
God will make a way. Because I know GOD is good all the time.
it seems like just a moment when we posted our current post.
well eniwei, I just want to share something.
uumm...although it appears like a share or curcol (curhat colongan) :)
it is already happened for a month when Im feeling that I cannot hold anything.
I cannot breath. I cannot do anything that I love. i cannot do my daily life as a student.
actually, until now i am still confuse and I cannot find what God wants from me.
if He wants me to do this, so why I cannot enjoy my life?
ok, you should be confused about "what am I doing"
I am a college student who start study at 7pm till 9pm monday to friday and continue to Saturday in the morning until noon. After first semester, I am going on work from 8am to 5pm.I got a position which push me to do it perfectly.
So you should be asking, "whats the problem,dude?"
thats the problem.
I got a very LOW POINT (IP) on first semester, instead my Moms asked me to increase my point.
So, to increase my point I HAVE to study hard. so how come I study hard if I am working?
Second, in the first semester, I look for a job. I don't taked all the job which offered to me. I choosed it. but my Mom wasn't know it. All she can do was JUDGE me that I cannot find anyjob. When I came back home at saturday, she just saying that I am wasting her money(!).
And after I got this job, I came back home on Saturday noon because my study finished at that time, all she can do was saying, "where are you?? are you playing or something? do you waste your money in shopping? so you think that you already earn money so that you can home late?"
Hei,you shud be know HOW MUCH I wants tell her :"stop pushing me and stop arguing me! this is what you want from me! I have been working and I have to get HIGHER POINT at college just like you asked!"
She still treat me just like when I am unemployed.
When I am home and I do my homework (because I bring it home), she asked me to massage her(!), although I already say that my paper shud be done by tomorrow.
She always thinking and she always treat me like a LITTLE GIRL! EVERYWHERE I go, my MOTHER and my FATHER always phone me, asked me "where are you? just home now! are you with a boy? dont embarasing this family!"
And what I can do? NOTHING...
I've been communicate about this thing to my mom, and she just say "you should be thankfull because me and your Dad still care in you"
this is not a care, mom. you prisoning me.
Other thing is coming from my job and my study. I got a moody boss although I know he is nice, but sometimes his moody bothering me at all.
Thats what made me scared of him.
After working, I have to study. I start my study with tired because my energy spent in office and train. in this semester, my lecture pushed us to do A LOT OF PAPPER, A LOT OF TASKS. Sometimes, I cannot follow their subject at class.
even my mid semester should be BAD because I cannot learn my subject well.
I am so deppresed. I thinking that everybody pushed me!
My parents push me. My job push me.
I cannot do anything. I am (already) tired.
Sometimes I just say, I DONT CARE.
if my boss angry, I just say I DONT CARE.
if my mom asked me, I just say I DONT CARE.
if i got bad point, I just say I DONT CARE.
I dont care with the world. Everything thats gonna happened, I DONT CARE.
Because I am tired.
I am tired became "good girl" in my parents eyes, my colleage, nor my friends.
I pray to God already. till now I am still asking. I am waiting for HIS PLAN for me.
What He wants from me. What He wants from my study and my job.
So thats when I and my KK met at PLANGI, I choosed BERSERAH as my subject. but I cannot deliver it well. so girls, this is actually what I want to share with you.
If you guys saw me just like a happy girl, you got a wrong impression. Because until now, I am still confused.
I am not a very nice girl. I am not an angel girl. I am not a perfect girl.
but God very kind with me. He gave anything that I never ASKED before.
All I do right now is FOLLOW His plan. Untill when? I dunno.
Until I cannot hold anything.
God will make a way. Because I know GOD is good all the time.
Well, It nice to share.
Belive or not, I getting better after I share my feeling at this posting.
May God bless you all!
JC&I Love you :)
hey yooah.. nice share we know ur situation keep it up and have fun ur collage n working.. hell u know some people deserved being like u personally having time to doin that all and of course care family, how about them never touched with their father or mother! still doing the best cuz God will giving the best to u too.. we still prays for u and gushraba hahaha
BalasHapusGbu
=Quote=
BalasHapushow about them never touched with their father or mother
=Unquote=
yeah...i know it, but sometimes their act or the way their "care" for me bother me at all.
anyway, thanks for a touchable comment. like it. and opened my eyes.
GBU